#TeaTalk: How I Noticed the Strength in My Growth

With all of the progress that I’ve made on my quest for positivity and alacrity this year… why do I find myself muffling that same growth when I’m faced with discomfort. It’s one thing to allow growth in your life and to start making certain changes to further it, but how strong is your growth?

Its been a pretty tough weekend for me, however I was shown something new about myself. I recently lost a family member, and everyone who knows me, knows I do NOT handle sickness or death well, at all. I go into this emotionless dark cave and simply disappear. I don’t talk about it, I don’t deal with it, I don’t face it. I bury it deep inside, making myself this emotionless being that doesn’t empathize with people. Death, heartbreak, and defeat tends to transform me into this walking, flesh covered, mass of apathy, simply erasing any particle of emotion that should exist.

Why is that? 

3 WORDS: Fearful Of Weakness

I viewed emotions as a condition of lacking strength. Therefore, showing it would make me weak, and that wasn’t an option. I needed to be the strong one. I needed to be the one that held it together. I refused to cry, be sad, or communicate my true feelings with anyone. Nonetheless, no matter how I felt, I realized my actions were still a form of weakness.

Running from your emotions instead of facing them is WEAKNESS. It shows that you’re lacking the power to accept your vulnerability and still be able to progress forward. True strength isn’t about how much you can handle before you break, its about how much you can handle after you break. I’ve never been the person to admit to my weaknesses, nor would I talk about what was bothering me. However, I’ve noticed an aggressive shift in my reaction to trying situations.

After receiving the news of my cousin passing away, instead of shutting down and disappearing from everyone, I told my closest friend. 🗣 I. Told. My. Friend.

Y’all don’t understand…

ME!

The “strong” one!

The one who doesn’t let people see her cry. The one who doesn’t show her weak spots. The one who tries so hard to hide her vulnerability. ME!I immediately informed someone that I was not okay.

That was the first sign of the strength in my growth. I’ve already established that I’ve grown as a person this year. However, to see that growth being tested right in front of me with an emotionally compelling circumstance – and my reaction was to talk to someone first. (GOD IS SO GOOD!!) Am I sad? Yes, but instead of running from my feelings. I’m able to face them, and still move forward. Come through strength! 😜

What is something that you aren’t comfortable facing? Share Below

2 Comments

  1. onefeistychef

    If you’re knowledgeable, how can you fail? You’re allowing your fear of failure to question your skills.

    You won’t progress if you allow the fear of failing to dictate your moves. How about focusing on what will happen WHEN you succeed.

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