It’s not a surprise that I used to be a real…. piece of work. I had a problem with authority, and an issue with being on any timing other than my own – and everything else in between. I did what I wanted when I wanted to, regardless of how anyone else felt. Their feelings didn’t matter. What are feelings?! I was horrible! SMH. Not saying that I am perfect, but I have gotten better, and as long as I continue to progress I know it’ll all work out.
Last year around this time, I gave my life to Christ and was baptized. However, hours before I was baptized I was so rude, ugly, and irresponsible towards an old friend. We were supposed to work an event together, I agreed to the event although I didn’t really want to do it. (This is the day I learned to say “no” to my friends and family) Instead of showing up for the party, I got baptized and didn’t even answer her calls. I pretty much never even looked back after that. I literally haven’t spoken to her since then.
Now, I’ve started to notice that the more I study my Bible and spend time with Pops, the more my heart is healed and softened towards the people around me. However, I was still stubborn about anything wrong that I may have done. I truly used to believe that since I didn’t care to get an apology when I was done wrong – then everyone else should feel the same. “In other words, why should I apologize for anything wrong? I don’t want one from you.”
Wrong..Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Everyone’s feelings are different, and lets admit – I didn’t care to get an apology because my heart was already hardened towards relationships. So reconciling one was never even an option. Until now…
Months ago I felt the need to reach out to my old friend and apologize to her..but my pride and stubbornness kicked in. So I ignored it, but then I was prompted again to reach out to her. Still didn’t listen – and I just put it in the back of my head. Until today.. ugh… I had a dream last night that I tried to reach out to her and she completely blocked me and acted as if she didn’t know me – I mean its only fair right, I had done the same to her. I woke up feeling some type of way, I can’t really put my finger on it. However, I continued with my morning, then went to spend time with Pops. In the midst of me reading and meditating, I came across Matthew 5:23-24…
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the alter in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the alter. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
OH…EM..GEE… she immediately popped in my head. So I stopped what I was doing and reached out to her. Idk what will come from this, I’m not really expecting anything either. I just want to be obedient in all aspects of my life.
If you have anyone that you may have wronged in the past, or thats even wronged you – go to them and burn of any bad blood that may have been left behind. It’s not worth it to hold a grudge or to be stubborn about your wrongdoings.