“The Lord continues to bless you, yet you don’t spend time with Him.” Those were the words my spirit spoke to me this morning while I was scrolling through Instagram (for no apparent reason at all).
So I immediately put my phone down, turned on my “Worship or Die” playlist, and opened my bible. I wanted to know why I’d been treating Pops (The Lord) so carelessly lately. Even after He continues to bless me on a daily.. I even know when He’s moving in my life, and I rejoice in that moment, yet I don’t talk to Him. I don’t truly acknowledge Him. I don’t thank Him.
I was rejecting POPS! OMG!! WHY?!?!??!
Here’s why: Pops has made moves for me that have shifted my life drastically. I wasn’t really prepared for any of it. (But hey, that’s usually how the Lord works) I have been praying for some type of change… for a home/space of my own, growth in my relationship, growth in my business, focus on specific tasks, etc. Yet, I hadn’t seen much turn around on any of my prayers.
Then all of sudden Pops decides to uproot me from my little “comfort zone” with Bear back to “my own space.” See I had been praying for Bear and I to have our own place because I was miserable in a shared home, it never felt like home to me. However, I wasn’t ready to pack up and leave Bear. I wanted us to be together, we were supposed to be together, at least those were my thoughts. I wanted to be miserable living with Bear, rather than happy on my own while courting him. Isn’t that crazy?
So as a result of how unhappy I was with this decision, I’ve been putting my relationship with Pops on the back-burner. GIRL!!! Get your life together!! The thing is, I never disobeyed Pops, when He told me its time to go. I didn’t hesitate, I packed up my things, our sons’ things, transferred schools and moved; I just didn’t want to. I was super upset and hurt by it… Which is why I’de been neglecting talking to Pops, yet He had been moving in my life tremendously the entire time.
I was immediately in tears when I read 1 Samuel 10:19 “But though I have rescued you from your misery and distress, you have rejected your God today and have said, ‘No, we want a king instead!’…”
I looked at Bear as my “king!” I was so dependent on him in my life that although my prayer life was consistent at the time. It wasn’t enough for Pops to fully use me, the way He could if I was alone and solely dependent on Him instead.
Benefits of Obedience:
Prayer for own space √ – I’m much more relaxed now that I’m in my own space until Bear and I find a place of our own, and he’s more determined than ever to get us our own home.
Growth in my relationship √ – Communication on FLEEK, we still have some disagreements, but we don’t let it carry over to the next day.
Growth in my business √ – BRUH!! I have been working every week non-stop ever since I moved. Literally a week after moving, I did 4 events in one week. COME ON POPS!!
Focus on Specific Tasks __ – We almost there! I have been sidetracked obviously, ya know with the whole neglecting Pops thang, but I’m back on track and ready to starve my flesh and feed my spirit! YES LORD! HALLELUJAH!!